Weather was awesome that day, my mother in law’s sister came to visit us, after a lot of gossip and lunch, I asked them to have rest for some time. After an hour or so I went to kitchen for evening tea and snacks. As I didn’t have any idea about mother in law’ sister sugar preference for tea so I went to ask her about the same. As I was about to step in the room, I overheard my mil’s(mother in law)voice saying, “My daughter is like sweet for me and dil(daughter in law)is like salt.” This line just broke my heart and I felt very sad.
Days passed, and my mil was noticing that I was very sad from last few days. One afternoon she came to me and asked me about what is bothering me. First, I obviously said, “It’s nothing, mamma.” but when she asked me again and again I said, “mamma, I am confused, if I have done something wrong? why don’t you love me?” she was shocked and asked me the reason and then I explained her about what I overheard that day about me and my sister in law.
My mil laughed loudly, put her hand on my head and said lovingly, “Tell me one thing, can we have food without sugar?” I said, “yes, we can.” and Then she asked, “And without salt?” I was speechless and she further added “pagal ladki, you are that salt in my life without you their is no taste in my life.”
Sometimes we just spoil our relationships with small issues and misunderstandings. Small gaps becomes large bridges that we cannot even see each other from their properly. In India, a girl doesn’t marry her husband alone but to the entire family. Specially her mil and she can be and will be one who will always help you to adjust and settle down in the family.
Here are you few tips to be loving dil of your MIL
Don’t make her feel insecure- your mil has always been the important part of the family, which you have just entered. Never make her feel that you are here to take her place. Show her that you are her compliment not competition.
Respect her –Though you have small issues with her in your day to day life, but admire her for simple reason that she is your husband‘s mother, whom she has been taking care from the day one and today he is the man of your life.
Expectations- Like you have certain expectations from your in-laws, they too have some expectations from you. Though effort should be made from both sides but there is no harm in taking Initial.
Respect your father in law- Try to make a strong bond with your father in law like father daughter. This will not only make your father-in-law and husband happy but you will get straight to your Mil ‘s heart, when she sees someone is taking care of a man she has love the most in her life.
Always seek advice- Whether you want it or not always seek suggestions from her. Though she is much more experienced than you and trust me she can become your best adviser.
Offer help carefully- There are different shades of different people. Some mils want to involve her daughter-in-law in the household chores from day one, while other feel like losing their hold and can’t let you take all the responsibilities soon. so it’s better to understand her nature and try to support her the way she want you to be smartly.
Though it’s a relationship which has two ends. You can’t carry it alone but one-sided effort may changes the picture of your life.
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Shilpi Bhandari, mother of two kids, who give him new experiences in life n inspire to write it down..m creative by nature..love to read n expressing my thoughts.