As you cross different milestones, parenting surprises you. Parents live with a 24*7 constant pressure of teaching and disciplining. To the extent, that spanking (at times) comes as a natural remedy. Spanking has been an age old debate. The followers firmly believe that spanking is just a mild form of discipline. The most common argument provided is that we too (in our generation) were spanked and we are just okay! Really??!
As a matter of fact, I too was swayed away by this. Yes I was spanked and I spanked. Much to my convinience, I argued that it is my responsibility to correct my child. Yes, ofcourse it is. But, the other day the guilt of slightly, moderately ‘hitting’ or ‘spanking’ my child left me shattred.
I looked for answers everywhere. No, spanking was not working. It didnot help. Ain’t I raising a child who will believe that hitting is the way out? What about the self-esteem? Instead of protecting the child’s esteem I am probably shattering it. Spanking obviously creates a peer dynamics induced by fear and teaches the child the concept of hitting as a solution.
And, then the mind retaliates the first question about Discpline! Ahh, more often than not there are two roads. The easier one is ofcourse spanking. The road less travelled and the difficult one was what as parents we need to choose. My child is not a cup that can be filled up with my frustation and my so-called responsibilities of disciplining.
With a lot of introspect and intense discussions with fellow moms, I realised that patience is the key. Let’s involve these kids in making some rules. A rule by the child, for the child, of the child could prove interesting. Let’s give ourselves some time and give them some time-outs. Denying certain privileges when they are wrong and rewarding when correct could be another great option. Story-telling is again a wonderful tool to incorporate values. Last, but not least, explaining what, how and why helps create a more mature individual.
While, I am struggling with a combination of all of these techniques, I invite suggestions from all of you. Remember, each child is unique.