Is it ok to tell your daughter that “ You are a girl and you can adjust a little bit more”?

Is it ok to tell your daughter that “ You are a girl and you can adjust a little bit more”?

As we keep hearing this statement from the initial days of our childhood. And by the time we grow up, we fully imbibe this fact in our subconscious mind.

Any marital disharmony, you go and address the issue to your elders. The most expected and common answer you get – “ In every marriage, you have to do adjustments otherwise it doesn’t work.” Sometimes I do feel giving in to the situation is a wise choice. But is it always correct to “ Give In”? I have a “ BIG NO”. Being an independent girl for 26 years, suddenly a change in marital status cannot rip off my individuality. I am an individual and suddenly cannot give someone else the lead.

Any decision to be taken has to be mutually discussed. You cannot treat your partner as a rag piece and assume that she would accept everything and won’t question anything. In any successful marriage “Mutual” works as a key instrument. Whenever the Mutual loses its balance it creates complete discord between the partners.

Let me cite some examples of mutual:-

1). Mutual respect for each other.
2). Mutual respect to each other’s parent.
3). Taking decision mutually.
4). Mutual Rights and so on.

Gone are those days when the wife would silently listen to her better half and perform the chores accordingly. Now every female has gone through a kind of revolution and has learned to put forth their self-opinion. But still, I see many of my friends( female) simply carry on with their husband’s voice just in order to maintain marital harmony. Is this is not an injustice? It’s kind of encouraging wrong actions which can be fatal for the future.

I have a firm believe if in a relationship if there is no respect, the relation has deem scope of survival. We have to understand marriage is a celebration of two separate individuals and it should come with ease. Because of the parent’s social image in the society a rotten marriage should not be carried forward. Rather a new outlook should be created for the suffered partner instead of showing disastrous consequences of separation!

Basudha Bhattacharya

A Teacher by profession. Mother of 2 kids. Painting is my hobby. Observing my surrounding is my favorite past-time. Blogging is my new discovery of passion.