A Letter to my daughter…
I and my family was happy and content with the news – even the second time around! I feel so blessed to be a mother of two daughters. Having a child is indeed a blessing. I strongly find pride in raising these girls who will become the women of tomorrow. There, however is only one small lump in my throat. A mother (of girls) in me is always worried about being able to raise them into strong individuals. No, I am not being conservative but, rather trying to be practical!
How many of us remember the recent social media campaign of #metoo? It was viral and almost everyone had a wall with #metoo including me! Yes, it was you too, me too and we too – read them with hashtags.
Many sections of the society thought that this movement would mean that the community as a whole would gather a lot of empathy against any or all forms of sexual harassment. I always had a slightly different approach to this. To me, all of this was hugely scary. I mean look at the vulnerability – everyone almost everyone has faced this! Some were quiet but almost everyone had come out. Months after probably the campaign has taken a back seat but this has and will be haunting me.
My mind has a question to which I am still trying to find an answer. Okay, so it is #metoo and we all know it now. So, have we done something to help this? It is not that our generation did not have modern or strong mothers. I do not buy the argument of the new generation being smarter and more aware.
I agree that to an extent these movements help because now that we know we are not the only one we should not be ashamed but does that solve the roots of the problem. My mind always haunts for answers to this whole discussion which is why I pray to the almighty that help me raise STRONG GIRLS. Notice, I say girls and not just individuals.
Wondering why all of a sudden this topic!? So, here it goes, it was annual day for both my girls in their respective schools and sitting in the audience I was numb because I knew this means they completed one formal year of education. I wanted to speak so much to them but I think a 5 year and a 2 year might not understand the essence of all this now. So I decided to pen down my thoughts. A letter to my daughters and to all young girls.
- I Love You. Please consider these three words to remain with you unconditionally forever! I may be upset with you or angry at you. Sometimes I could be mad at certain things that were probably not the best things to do. BUT, I still love you. In your heart never forget this. And, one day you will realise that this will give you a lot of strength.
- Confide in me. Be what – you can trust me. Well, dear daughter this is an extension of the previous one. Trust me you can trust me! When things go wrong, when nothing seems right, when the world seems topsy-turvy – before you give up, allow me one opportunity to lend my ears to you. I might not give you the perfect solution but I will give you the strength to fight your battle. So, do share.
- Never give up: You know everyone around will give you tons of mantras. Secrets to make it big, to succeed and so on. All I have to say is whatever you do – do not give up. Because, hard work has no replacement. Be persistent. Make work your God and see how God rewards you.
- Love your work: If you are not tired and overworked you are probably not even working. There is no shortcuts to success. The passion and hard work comes only when you love what you are doing. Everyone starts small but it becomes big only with a lot of love and hard work.
- Stand for yourself: Life is a roller coaster ride. It is a bed of roses with thorns. So for all those tough times – please do not expect anyone to be besides you. Do not make yourself an emotional fool. Because, only and only when you stand for yourself, others will back you.
- Do not trust: Now, this is a slightly difficult one. With a lot of experience, I affirmatively say please do not trust anyone else – apart from yourself. This applies uniformly and in every situation. Your family and friends are always with you however, under no situation give yourself completely for it.
- Health is wealth: I cannot re-emphasise this more. Only if you are fit and fine can you take care of yourself and others.
- Be firm and confident: Speak less but speak with affirmation. Well thought and well-articulated words can take you to places. I have experienced this that when you speak less many people interpret you as being reserved and non-friendly. But, over time they start respecting you.
Probably, over everything else – Learn to raise your voice against wrong.
Mahatma Gandhi taught us one lesson “Bura na bolo, bura na suno and bura na dekho”. Do not be afraid of the consequences, dear child. Do not keep quiet. The world is a cruel place and is always ready to stomp the weak. Be bold.
May God give you all the strength because even I will go someday, so stand for yourself!
And let me end this letter by saying the same three words – I Love You.
And to you my almighty – give the daughters all the strength:
- To fight or to escape ;
- To speak or to be quiet ;
- To understand good and bad ;
- To be emphatic or to be bold ;
- To trust and to doubt!